Anxiety
The rushing movement of terror in your heart. All things come together at once from all directions. Wherever you are, or whatever you’re currently dealing with suddenly takes a backseat to this dark force, and yet you must ignore the danger to deal with the task at hand. How could you describe it to a colleague during an L-10 meeting, the simultaneously coy and naive date sitting next to you, the advisor who peers over his glasses at you to catch you up on schoolwork. What could you say? I’m having a panic attack. I need to leave right now. Thank you for understanding. No, things aren’t so simple in the world, not even a world like ours which would have you tie these feelings to the core of your being, and prescribe benzodiazepines as a fix-all solution, when it does anything but, and in fact just pushes the problem to the future where it will gather more strength and wait for you once more. It seems that the questions concerning this mysterious energy are all posed wrongly. It wouldn’t suit you to loudly proclaim, with faux-strength and an arrogant candor, yes, I feel these things too, and I struggle with them; nor does it help to simply ignore it. The question then becomes how do we fight in silence? Anywhere, at all times? Is this not just another form of submission? Perhaps we can find the right question, along with the right answer, in the way we can tell the clouds from the storm.
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